What's FOOD got to do with it?

We have been in the process of a lot of menu planning sessions with clients over the past few weeks.  There are a lot of things to consider in the creation of your wedding menu.

Season/Weather
Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall: each season has its own flavors. When planning your menu, think about and answer the question, What do I feel like eating on a (insert season here) day?
It could be a hot summer day/brisk fall afternoon/chilly snowy evening/bright spring morning...  The answer isn't always Prime Rib and Red Bliss potatoes!

Location

Hotel ballroom or oceanside tent?  Full on-site kitchen or off-site kitchen tent with limited power and plating space? Especially in the latter case, it is important to understand the limitations of your venue. Also consider the appropriateness of the menu item to the space where you are serving it-mashed potatoes on the beach just doesn't seem right, right?

Time of Day
Too often, clients come to the table feeling pigeon-holed into "traditional wedding food" menu ideas and timeframes, or don't take the initiative to think outside of the "wedding norm."  Wedding brunches are incredible! Who doesn't love breakfast food? An afternoon luncheon has a fun, casual feel and is perfect for a beach or camp location. Cocktail parties can happen anytime of day. 

What you LOVE
The first menu related question I ask of my clients is: "If you could eat anything on your wedding day, what would it be?"
If the answer is "a lobster roll" or "french onion soup" or "french fries"- embrace it!  Tell your chef about your favorite foods- there are lots of ways to incorporate your personal food faves into your wedding menu- whether in hors d'oeuvres, appetizer, entree, dessert or even a late night snack...

  
Your Guests
Be considerate of the dietary needs and personal tastes of your guests. "A little something for everybody" is a good rule of thumb.  Bear in mind that you can not please everybody 100% of the time.  Also realize that particular delicacies, though high on your personal list, may be polarizing.

Ethnic Background
Is a large percentage of your guest list from a particular ethnic background? It's always nice to include cultural family favorites or even Grandma's recipes.  This is a wonderful way to personalize your menu and pay homage to your backgrounds.

 Your wedding menu is very important. It will be remembered and enjoyed by your guests more than your flowers, table linens or your attire.  It's a great place to reflect your personal styles and tastes as well as celebrate your complete wedding vision!

Melinda Butler Photography, Claris Photography, Julie Dunfey, White Apron Catering, Gourmet Catering

Blissful Events: Steve & Ginger, Longfellow's Wayside Inn

Steve and Ginger contacted me with two months lead time last spring to plan their June wedding. I was so please to be referred to them by DJ Jerry Booth who is a family friend of the Groom.  Jerry and I worked together at a wedding 120 miles north in Wolfeboro, NH, back in 2009.

Ginger and Steve fell in love with the beautiful and historic Wayside Inn  and Martha Mary Chapel in Sudbury, Massachusetts. Thankfully, their preferred date was available and set a perfect backdrop for their wedding festivities.  The weather could not have be more cooperative for an early summer wedding!

Ginger's adorable daughter, Jocelyn was a big part of the planning process and an absolute doll on the wedding day!  The color Red was chosen for good luck, but also because red roses are one of Ginger's favorite flowers. I am so happy to share these lovely photos by Melinda Butler photography. 

A simple calla lily bouquet enhanced the delicate pleating and ruching of
Ginger's gown.

The lovely ladies

Ginger and her sweet daughter Jocelyn.

Preferred mode of transportation to the gorgeous chapel- horse and surrey

"Lucky" red details included pomanders which adorned the pews

Such lovely photo opportunities at Wayside Inn- such  as the charming
Grist Mill

Taking a spin

The Wayside Inn created the delicious and elegant wedding cake

"Double Happiness" symbols accented wedding favors

Candy buffets are a big hit with guests of all ages...

Wishing Steve, Ginger and family many many joyous years together!

Where are you sitting?

Many couples dread (and put off until the very last minute) creating a seating plan for their weddings.  This necessary task is really easier than you may think, and your guests will thank you for taking care in planning a place for them to enjoy the festivities!
 
Why do you need to assign seats at your reception?

1. You painstakingly planned your centerpieces, tablescape, napkin fold and linen color. If you do not plan where guests sit, they will take it upon themselves to move chairs, squeeze 12 seats into a 8-person table and this will not create a comfortable experience for your guests or a pretty photograph.

2. Have you ever walked into a full movie theater with 3 friends and tried to find 4 seats together with 150 people staring at you?  This is what "seating yourself" at a wedding feels like.  Your guest's comfort should be first priority at the wedding reception and searching to find a seat in not comfortable.

3. If you do not plan your guests seats, your caterer will have no ideas where the 6 chicken finger kids meals go, your cousin's vegan plate needs to be or the "shellfish allergy guy" is seated. And no, you can't just point them out that day.

So, what are the rules of thumb in creating your seating plan?

1. Again- guests' comfort is paramount!  Most people do feel most comfortable being seated with folks they know. When you receive your response cards, take a second to bundle them by category- family/work friends/parents friends/college buddies, etc. When all of the RSVPs are received, half the work is already done.

2. When you must mix friends/family members who do not know each other at a table, try to match up guests with similar interests/jobs/hobbies or those who are close in age.  Most often they'll have no problem getting along if they find that they have things in common.

3. Wedding party members are always happier to be seated with their date or significant other than at a "head table".  Traditional 1-sided head tables are far less popular than in the past, and for good reason.  The bride and groom spend very little time seated at the head table, and therefore the wedding party is hanging out "on display" by themselves!  Consider other options like a sweetheart or family table for yourselves and seat the wedding party with guests.

4. Think about the older folks.  Correct, you do not want to seat your older guests directly in front of the sound system, but they do want to have a good view of the action on the dance floor and the entertainment.

When in doubt, always put yourself in the position of the guest and error on the side of their comfort!

Photos, Claudia Kaerner Photography,  Aphrodite Wedding Photos

Vibrant Colors Inspiration Board

Vibrant details:

Swamscot Sodas are colorful and refreshing in lots of fun flavors!

Gerber Daisy and Citrus cubes are perfect for cocktail table accents. The Eclectic Florist for Blissful Beginnings

A colorful silk fabric guestbook invites your friends and family to leave their good wishes.

Luigi's Italian Ice were a sweet after dinner surprise from the Bride to the Groom! 

The floral cascade Wedding Cake was created by Jacques Pastries- inspired by the floral print bridesmaid dresses!
 
Fuchsia Asian Lanterns add a pop of color to the peaks of the reception tent. Blissful Beginnings
 
Get more bang for your buck with colorful linens.

You can't help but smile when you see these bouquets of  blue hydrangea, pink and yellow roses and green button poms.


Photos Melinda Butler Photography, Blissful Beginnings

Let's talk about Wedding Ceremonies- Part 2

So, what exactly goes into a civil ceremony? How do you format a ceremony with a good flow...?
I created the following outline to use as a framework for creating custom wedding ceremonies.

Opening Words

To welcome family and friends, offer a brief statement about the meaning of love and marriage. I also like to include some information about or the history of the bridal couple; how they met, why they chose this location, etc.

The Readings

Verses from the Bible or other sacred text, poetry, song lyrics or other compositions that affirm the commitment of the bridal couple. Readings can be interspersed throughout the ceremony to punctuate a thought or feeling. Readings are used to personalize the themes that are important to the wedding couple and to allow friends or family members to be a part of the ceremony.

 

Declaration of Consent/Intent

A statement to the community that you intend to marry one another. This is the legal portion of a civil ceremony. Positive affirmation of intent to marry before the officiant is the only legally necessary element within the ceremony.

The Vows

Promises that the couple make to each other in regard to their marriage.  The most personal portion of the ceremony.

The Rings

Physical symbols of the promises made within the vows.

The Blessing/Wishes for the Bridal Couple

A prayer for God’s support in the marriage or an offering of wishes from the congregation and community in support of the marriage.

The Closing Words/Benediction

A statement of hope for the future.

Declaration of Marriage/Pronouncement

An affirmation of the legal union that has just occurred. Usually followed by the Kiss.

Presentation of the Married Couple

Other Elements which can be included:

Unity candle, Wine Ceremony, Sand Ceremony, Handfasting, Rose Ceremony, Parental or Community Vows, Presentation of gifts to Children, Breaking of the Glass, Champagne toast, Speeches, Sign of Peace, Remembrances.

 A good wedding ceremony should reflect the thoughts and feelings of the couple as well as keep the attention of the congregation.  It should be respectful of all present, no matter what their belief system. Most of all, the wedding ceremony should celebrate the love story of the Bridal Couple.

photos: Melinda Butler,  Hinkley Photography

Let's talk about Wedding Ceremonies-Part 1

One of my favorite parts of my job is creating beautiful, customized wedding ceremonies for my clients.  I became a Justice of the Peace about 8 years ago so I could add officiating to my Wedding Planner's Bag of Tricks, and it has become a wonderful addition to the services that I offer my clients.  In fact, I officiate at about 50% of the Weddings I also plan or coordinate!

The popularity of Civil Wedding Ceremonies (i.e. non-religious) is definitely on the rise.  There are many reasons for this trend.  Many couples come from different faith backgrounds and do not wish to "choose sides"- others consider themselves spiritual rather than religious because they do not regularly attend worship services, or follow the doctrine of a specific faith.  Many couples wish to  be married at outdoor venues or locations where their faith does not permit religious ceremonies to be held.  Still others are Atheist or Agnostic and do not feel the need for religion to be a part of their lives at all.

I like to remind my clients that within a civil ceremony, two individuals "marry" each other by offering their positive intention (along with acquiring a marriage license from the state where they wish to be wed.) The primary job of a Justice of the Peace or non-religious officiant is to act as a witnesses for the State- to affirm that;
1. The couple has a valid license and
2. They both said  "YES."
There is no magic word or formula which "makes" you married. Your positive intention is all that is needed.

 The secondary job of an officiant is to assist in creating the ceremony.  Bear in mind that the "ceremony" is essentially window dressing. There are no legal requirements of a wedding ceremony other than positive intention stated by both parties. I joke with my clients that they could sing the words to "Stairway to Heaven" followed by the words "I DO!" and I can sign the marriage license! Creation of the actual Ceremony Script should be as personal as buying your wedding gown or choosing your rings. It is, after all, completely customizable!

Now, where to begin? How do you create a wedding ceremony?
There are many things to consider. Traditional vs. Contemporary? Short and Sweet or Lengthy, incorporating traditions, customs, readings, etc??? 

Coming soon, Let's Talk about Wedding Ceremonies Part 2 which will describe the customary "Parts of a Wedding Ceremony."

Photos: Melinda Butler Photography, Aphrodite Wedding Photography, Carol Savage Photography 

We love your children, but...

...they are not invited to the wedding.

I feel like I have the "kids" conversation with about 50% of the couples we work with and I share my words of wisdom about the topic of inviting children to wedding festivities quite often.

Let me preface by clarifying that I *personally* love including children in weddings.  I have 3 kids myself aged 14 months to 14 years, and invited children and babies of friends and family to my own wedding. This post however, is not going to be in support of inviting, allowing and celebrating with the little ones, it is to point out the reasons why:

 YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO NOT INCLUDE KIDS AT YOUR WEDDING AND NOT FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT!

Yes, even your siblings' kids.

The bottom line is that this is your day and a celebration of your marriage.  Quite often, we parents put our blind devotion and inherent need to stick up for our kids ahead of our logical side, and get insulted if our kids are excluded.  The best way to diffuse this situation is to calmly explain your reasons for hosting an "adults only" affair.  Perhaps you have chosen a venue that is not child friendly, and you are planning to create your dream of a calm, peaceful and sophisticated wedding which does not cater to the needs of children.  Maybe you have spent months creating a swanky and luxe cocktail party taking great care in choosing the best wines and spirits. Doesn't logically seem like a place for the kiddies, right?

My suggestion if you encounter flack from the family such as: "Well, if the kids aren't invited, we won't be coming!"- is to make an honest and CALM plea for understanding of your wedding wishes coupled with an explanation of why you have chosen to make your guest age limitation. Do not get defensive, but stick to your guns.  

"Well, we can't/won't travel without the kids"

Consider the option of hiring babysitters to look after the little ones, but realize that many parents are not comfortable leaving their children in the care of sitters that they are not familiar with, especially in an unusual setting.  Another option is to suggest that parents bring along their own sitter or an "in-law" and if budget allows, offer to pay for their accommodations.

Make every attempt to remain positive and civil if you indeed come up against family pressure or the guilt trip to change your plans.  Most often, parents are desperately in need of a fun day/night out without their kids and really appreciate the opportunity to socialize and celebrate with the grown-ups!

Whether your plans are kid-friendly or adults-only or someplace in between, keeping your plans clear and honest with your family and friends will make the conversation easier and hopefully less stressful.